The initiation you're already in

It may not look exactly like you think it should, but it's real.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Happy Sunday, Soothers. If you're someone who's even a little bit spiritually inclined, you've probably fantasized at least once about an initiation. A sacred turning point. A moment when the clouds part and the Universe hands you a beautifully embossed invitation to finally become your True Self. THE PORTAL! Woohoo!

You know—maybe there’s a drum circle involved, or a white robe, or a mystical teacher in linen robes nodding solemnly from across the fire.

It all feels very official, very otherworldly, very sacred, very not your daily life of errands, meetings, and figuring out what the hell to make for dinner again.

But here’s something I’ve seen over and over again—not just in my own life, but in the lives of the women I work with:

The initiation almost never looks like what we expect.

In fact, it often shows up looking like… a mess. Something pretty sucky and mundane. Like a breakup. Like a mysterious illness. Like the most frustrating stretch of parenting you’ve ever encountered. Caretaking for somebody else, in a way that seems impossible and draining. Like being laid off, or suddenly realizing you don’t even recognize yourself at work anymore. Like loneliness. Or rage. Or complete disorientation.

And when it happens, we often miss the point. We complain. We scramble to fix it. We say, “Why is this happening to me?” instead of “Wait…what if this is it? What if THIS is the initiation?”

What if this hard, clunky, scary, sad, frustrating emotionally messy thing you’re moving through is the initiative portal you asked for?

What if this is the ceremony?

I’ve worked with so many people who say they long for a spiritual shift, or a sense of self they haven’t yet claimed, or a deepening of their purpose or identity. And then, often right after they declare that desire—bam. Life delivers them something that looks like destruction.

And it’s not because the universe is cruel. It’s because the universe is listening. It’s just...not very subtle. It heard your call for transformation, and it sent the curriculum.

Unfortunately, that curriculum is rarely taught in a candlelit yurt.

It’s taught in your real life.

Because here’s the thing about initiations: they ask us to face our greatest fears. They pull up our deepest shadows. They surface the stuff we’ve been avoiding, denying, or trying to outrun. That’s why modern-day struggles are the initiation—because nothing will bring your unhealed wounds, outdated coping strategies, or unspoken desires to the surface faster than a true life disruption.

The sacred portal often opens through pain, uncertainty, and fear—not in spite of them, but because of them. It’s not just a test; it’s an invitation to meet the parts of yourself you’ve most feared—and begin healing them, one breath at a time.

Initiation today doesn’t look like it used to, in days of maiden fair, priestess standing at the edge of the woods or shamans lighting candles. It doesn’t always come with smoke and symbols. It might come as an empty calendar after a job loss. Or a sudden silence in a friendship that once held you. A brutal and bitter divorce. Or a health scare that forces you to slow down, listen, and reevaluate every single thing.

It's not glamorous. It often sucks, and it scary, and disorienting.

But I promise: it is sacred, if we can see it for what it is.

These are the invitations. They are rugged and inconvenient and uncomfortable and sometimes devastating. And yet—they shape you. They hollow you out so you can hear your own voice again. They challenge your grip on the old identity you were already outgrowing. They ask: Are you ready? Not in theory, but in practice. In your body. In your nervous system. In your real, human, daily life.

Ram Dass once said: “Either you do it like it's a big weight on you, or you do it as part of the dance.” And goodness gracious do I love that quote. Because sometimes this spiritual growth thing feels heavy. But if we can remember—oh, this is part of it—then maybe we can loosen our grip a little. Maybe even sway a bit. Maybe even breathe.

So let me ask you gently:

What’s your current initiation?

What’s the challenge, rupture, transition, or unraveling that is quietly (or loudly) asking you to become someone new?

What are you being invited to let go of, to outgrow, to remember?

And—maybe most importantly—what can help you stay rooted as you walk through it?

That brings me to this: if you’re in one of these seasons—and so many of us are—I’d love to walk with you. Starting May 11 (that’s today!! It’s not too late to join), I’m leading a live round of The Imperfect Artist’s Way, a 12-week course where we gather, reflect, create, reconnect with ourselves, and build a deeper sense of trust in our voice and our path.

This course gives you a steady anchor while everything else swirls. It reminds you of your own center, your intuition, your capacity to create meaning from what you’re living through.

If your initiation has already begun—and let’s be real, it probably has—I invite you to let this course be one of the ways you hold yourself through it.

You can learn more and join us here.

With love from someone who’s absolutely in her own unglamorous but wildly transformative initiation, too.

For paid subscribers below, I have an Initiation Tarot Spread + Journal Prompts.

For everybody else, I’m here, rooting for ya, and for the transformation that is unfolding.

xo

Catherine

PS: Would you do me a favor, and hit the “like” button for this post, or share it with a person or two you love? Thank you!