What's the next step in the surrendered life?
How to continue the ride on the river
Welcome! This is the Sunday Soother, a weekly newsletter about compassionate personal growth and authentic living, written by me, Catherine Andrews, a life coach, teacher, and writer. Did somebody forward this to you? You can subscribe to the Sunday Soother here.
Happy Sunday, Soothers. We've done it — we've made it to the final essay in our 8-part series about intuitive, surrendered and aligned living! Huzzah!
Are you new and catching up on this 8-part series? You can read past issues here at these links:
Part I: Beginning to live a surrendered, intuitive life
Part II: How you can begin to claim your desires
Part III: Listening to and seeing signs all around us
Part IV: Creating more space in your life for alignment
Part V: Asking for help, and taking action, over and over
Part VI: To surrender, regulate your nervous system
Part VII: How to stop forcing and flow
And today, the final part of this journey and exploration:
What's next?
Here's the reality, at least in my experience, about what's next in the intuitive, surrendered and aligned life:
You never really know.
Yeah. I get it. It's a bummer.
We're humans. We're scared. We want control. We want to plan, to have it all locked down permanently. We want to keep believing we know best about how things should go, better, somehow than the very universal intelligence that created us.
But when you truly begin to step into the intuitive, surrendered and aligned life, you really begin to understand:
You never know more than a few steps ahead of you, and that's okay.
Again, this isn't to say you just roll over, shrug your shoulders, and become entirely passive in your lived experience. Not at all.
There's a lot you can do to continue to surrender and get into alignment of what's best for you.
But again, like our trip on the river together, it requires a regular re-calibration and checking in.
Are we still on the right path? What's on the horizon? Do we like the speed we're traveling at? What skills have we learned and which might we need to improve? What have we noticed about what's on the riverbanks? Do we like our traveling companions? Where is the river calling to us next, what is it asking us to shed, where does it want us to point our boat now?
And you must check in on these questions, and your self, constantly and consistently, as you continue to wind down the river.
Living the surrendered and intuitive and aligned life is a process. It's not a knowing you arrive at, apply to your life, and then you're done. It's a constant iteration, and it goes on as long as we're lucky enough to be here.
If you've been intrigued by this series and are looking for more resources so you can continue to deepen your ability to surrender and tap into your intuition, that's what I want to leave you with today.
First and foremost, I want to recommend the book The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. Singer is a renowned spiritual teacher and author and this book was massively transformative for me in learning how to trust and follow the flow of life. I'll never forget one particular anecdote from the book that really illustrated to me the power of this approach. It's been a while since I read the book (I'm due for a re-read) so I may be getting some of the details wrong but the story went something like this: Singer had gotten into meditation in a really deep way and had purchased some land on which to build a meditation center and to live on himself. He went away on a trip and when he returned one of his community members had, without asking his permission or even informing him, started to build a house next to Singer's house. Singer, of course, wanted to stop this and get the woman off his land, but he was deeply committed to surrender, to a saying yes and surrender process, so much so that he picked up some tools and began helping her finish the house. That woman lived there for a year, and then right after she left, another woman moved in — the woman Singer would eventually come to marry.
RIGHT?! That story blew my mind in particular, and the book is full of gems like that, of things miraculously working out even when they seem to start as total horror shows. Singer, who also wrote The Untethered Soul, another incredible book, takes his expertise in noticing mental chatter and resistance, simply witnessing it, and then allowing whatever needs to unfold to unfold. Really can't recommend The Surrender Experiment enough.
Another thing you might want to do? Hone your intuition. Your intuition is your internal compass that is helping you pilot your canoe, and when it's finely developed you are able to traverse the river with much more ease and pleasure. A couple of years ago I ran a free Instagram challenge called #30daysofintuition, and if you search that hashtag, you'll see 30 different assignments I give to practice your intuition. That may be a fun thing to start, or to do part of.
I'm a huge fan of writing a 1-year vision and also a 3-year vision. I teach the process for the 3-year vision in my Introduction to Intentional Living course, and you can see an example of my 1-year process on Instagram here. This process allows us to tap into desires and set a bit of a GPS course, so we're stepping into partnership with creating our lives, and getting more intentionally intuitive about what we do really want.
You may want to dive into The Artist's Way if you've never read the book or done the process, or perhaps it's time for a revisit. This book by Julia Camera and its journaling approach of Morning Pages were utterly transformative for me in learning to trust myself, trust my intuition, and trust the unfolding of my life and that yes, something indeed did want to flow through me, to create through me.
If you were specifically interested in the more spiritual aspects of what I taught these past couple of months, like Tarot and energy work, check out my course, Practical Spirituality. In it I teach Tarot 101, energy work, intuitive practices and more.
Finally, I often refer back to these two quotes when I'm navigating this process myself:
Deepak Chopra: “If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another. The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience. If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.”
And from one of Eckart Tolle's books: J. Krishnamurti, the great Indian philosopher and spiritual teacher, spoke and traveled almost continuously all over the world for more than fifty years attempting to convey through words - which are content - that which is beyond words, beyond content. At one of his talks in the later part of his life, he surprised his audience by saying, "Do you want to know my secret?" Everyone became very alert. Many people in the audience had been coming to listen to him for twenty or thirty years and still failed to grasp the essence of his teaching. Finally, after all these years, the master would give them the key to understanding. "This is my secret," he said. "I don't mind what happens."
Living the surrendered life is following the universe's invitations, but also just... being okay with whatever is right in front of you.
Your assignment for this week? Simply drop in the comments any takeaways, insights, questions or next steps that this series has inspired for you. In the next few weeks, I'll be randomly picking a commenter from the past 8 weeks and gifting them a free 1:1 coaching session.
And with that, I'll close out this series, and The Sunday Soother will be taking a bit of a summer break for a few weeks (paid subscribers will continue to get weekly posts).
You can keep up with me in a few ways until then...
Check out my podcast & archives (over 200 episodes!)
Make sure you're on the waitlist for the Highly Sensitive Person Leadership Academy, my next course that will open in September
Follow me on Instagram, where I'll still be posting occasionally
Join my Sunday Soother Membership; in July I taught a journaling masterclass; in August we'll be delving into Manifestation for HSPs; and in September I'm going to lead and teach a workshop on EFT tapping. We also have Sunday Tarot circles and a monthly New Moon goal-setting workshop.
Or just reply to this email and say hi, or leave a comment! I'm grateful for all of you beautiful readers and that you choose to spend a small part of each week reading the Soother.
Happy flowing, and I'll see you on the river!
216: Don't let internalized capitalism warp manifestation for you
One reason I think so many of us roll our eyes at the concept of manifestation is that we assume it's about purely material things, or about getting large sums of money, and for plenty of us, those are topics we're wary about or that aren't that motivating to us. Also, many of us see the damage that unfettered capitalism has done to humans, society and the earth and are wary of engaging with a spiritual practice that seems to be about further material accumulation. But I'm here to tell you today, don't let capitalism — or your own internalized capitalism — ruin what can be a really beautiful and delightful experience. Manifestation isn't, to me, at its core about acquiring material items or showy amounts of money; it's about allowing the desires on your heart, from small to large, to unfold in the material plane. Tune into to listen to me tell stories of manifestation that have nothing to do with money or material items and why they are just as special, and how you can begin to have those experiences, too.
Listen to all of my Sunday Soother podcast archives wherever you listen to your podcasts. I have over 200 episodes to binge!
Reads & Recs
Where I share articles, books, recipes, podcasts, beauty products and more that I'm enjoying! (A few links may be affiliate links off of which I'll make a small commission; I only endorse stuff I've tried and loved).
🎶 COVID took so much from us, and one loss I was particularly sad about was the death of Adam Schlesinger, of Fountains of Wayne. Over the years they've stayed one of my favorite bands and I was reminded of them when I came across this summer playlist I created a few years back. You really can't go wrong listening to Radiation Vibe or It Must Be Summer, windows down, while driving as summer nights start to unfold. You might enjoy this playlist if you're into bright and fizzy indie rock music from the 2000s.
👉 The Transgender Family Handbook 144 specific suggestions, from trans young people and their loved ones, that parents may find helpful. [The Cut]
✨ I really enjoyed my convo on everyday magic, and the vulnerability of claiming your desires in the face of disappointment with fellow coach Cat Wood on her podcast, The Prosperous Empath. Give it a listen here!
🎧 I also created this whole playlist of podcasts I've been on, in case you want to check 'em out!
😎 These shirts, in large or XL, are becoming a staple of my summer wardrobe.
👃 I'm a bit of an incense junkie and recently I came across two new favorite scents; these P.F. Candle Co. Piñon sticks; and these Goloka Nag Champa Incense Sticks.
☀️ Sad in the summer? You may have summer seasonal depression. Summer seasonal affective disorder is not as well-known as winter SAD, but it holds a higher risk for suicide and may become more prevalent with climate change. [Washington Post]
🪴 Grief and My Not-So-Green Thumb: "Processing loss in unexpected moments." [Something's Up]
✍️ My niece and nephews are spending the summer in the midwest and in an effort to try to stay in touch with them so they don't forget me when they all come back like 7 inches taller and too cool for their aunt, I said I would write them cards and letters this summer. The only problem is I am NOT a person who keeps cards on hand and also my handwriting is truly illegible. So I found Postable.com, which lets you type up messages on a card you pick out online and does the whole mailing out process. It costs about $5 a card.
👂 From Sarah, a Soothe masterminder: This was a really good episode from the author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents [which we're reading in the Soothe mastermind] Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris: How to Disentangle from Toxic People | Lindsay C. Gibson.
That's it for this week, sending all my love for the week ahead.
Catherine
My marriage has not been good for 4-5 years now. I've been constantly trying to decide/figure out/overthinking whether I should stay or go. I have been working hard the last 3-4 months to concentrate on myself, doing things that make me happy spending my time as I want to instead of obsessing over the relationship and him and I am happier. Making sure that I have time for me daily and weekly has helped immensley and I am just letting the marriage happen and I will see
What an absolutely gorgeous series Catherine. That Deepak chopra quote is so important for my little perfectionist brain. And the “I don’t mind what happens” is SO right on. I am going to be ruminating on both for the weeks to come!